


Emotions aren’t a science

by MacRileyEdits



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Post-5x10, macriley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacRileyEdits/pseuds/MacRileyEdits
Summary: This is my take on what could happen after 5x10.Ten days had passed since Murdoc’s dastardly deeds and even if Mac’s scratches and bruiseshad almost healed, the wall Riley had put up between them was hurting him worse thanMurdoc’s kicks and punches ever did.
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 273
Kudos: 429





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> Since we have to wait until March 26th to watch what happens I thought I could write my own version. I'm not sure how many chapters this will take but I don't plan on making it too long.

“Mac…” Riley was very surprised to see him. “Everything okay?” she asked trying to think why he could possibly be standing on her doorstep in the middle of the night.

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didn’t just happen.” it was the first thing he said and it was the truth. Even if Desi advised him to do so, he couldn’t. Therefore he followed her other advice and he did what he felt was right. “They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

Riley wasn’t expecting him to show up, let alone ask her something like that. “Did what work?” she asked trying to put her thoughts in place and prepare herself for what Mac really wanted to know.

“Hiding your emotions and letting them pass,” Mac’s look was desperate. He needed to know.

It was only after Mac talked about her emotions that Riley seemed to fully realise why he was there.

“Did they go way?” he asked his final question and was thirsty for Riley’s answer. You could see it in his face. He hadn’t just showed up for some casual conversation. He looked like his life depended on his best friend’s answer.

Riley didn’t know how to answer that. Not because she didn’t have the answer but because she was afraid to say it out loud. Mac was asking her to admit her real feelings for the first time. She had never done that before. She knew it in her heart but she had never actually confessed her emotions. All this time she was denying them. Every time Bozer asked she was saying they had passed so he would stop asking. It wasn’t the truth but she thought it was better for everyone. But this time it was different. It was Mac asking her the question and her heart couldn’t handle it.

“Mac, we-we already talked about this. I told you…” she began and Mac stepped inside her apartment and closed the door behind him.

“You _told_ me that you decided to bury it until the feelings passed,” he cut her off.

“Exactly,” Riley agreed. 

“Riles,” Mac began. “You didn’t say if they passed.”

And now the panic took over. ‘Why is he making this so hard?’ she thought.

“I need to know. Did your feelings pass?” he asked the same thing again but used different words. 

“Mac please stop asking me that. Don’t make me say it. I can’t give you the answer you want,” Riley was breaking eye contact. 

“What answer do you think is that?” Mac wondered.

“I promise everything is fine. _I’m_ fine. You don’t have to worry about me. You can move on with the life you’re planning with Desi. I don’t want you to hold back in fear of hurting me and my feelings.” Riley thought that Mac felt guilty. That he felt bad she was hurting because he was with Desi.

“What? _No_. That’s not...”

“Look," she interrupted him. "I want you to be happy. So why can’t we just let this go?”

“Riles, that’s not why I’m asking. Of course, I care if you’re hurting but… I need to hear you say it. I need to be sure,” his plans of proposing to Desi was the last thing he cared about in that moment. What he wanted was to know if he still had a chance. A chance to live in a world where he and Riley would be together. Because the moment he heard that recording the only thing he could think about was how could he have been so blind. How did he miss the signs that he had what he wanted right in front of him all along. 

“I can’t. I can’t say it. Don’t you get it? If I do then there’s no going back. How can I tell you something I can’t even say to myself? Please, stop asking. Just go,” she opened her door and expected him to leave.

“Riley, don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. We can get through this together.” he put his hands on her shoulders to get her to look at him.

She immediately shrugged to get him to remove his hands.

“Not this time Mac. This is something I have to deal with on my own, like I have been all this time. The best way to help me is to move on like you never found out about this.”

“You know that’s not gonna happen.”

“Then I guess we both have things we need to bury. Please leave Mac. I think it’s best if we give each other some space. We can be professional about it and still work together but I think we shouldn’t see each other outside of work for a while.”

“Riley please. Don’t do this,” he was now standing outside her apartment again pleading she would let him stay and figure this out.

“I promise we’ll be fine. We just need some time to contemplate on our own. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already told you that you’re never alone." 

“Riles…”

“Just go Mac. I’ll see you at the Phoenix,” she told him and closed the door.

Mac waited outside her apartment door for a couple of minutes. He wanted to knock again. He needed to hear her say it but he also knew that what he was asking was extremely hard so he decided to give her the space she wanted and hoped that maybe, just maybe she would be ready to talk again if a few days passed.

Riley asked him to forget about it but as hard as it was for her to bury her feelings, it was impossible for Mac to forget that she had or still has by the looks of it, these exact same feelings she was trying to bury.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more like a filler chapter. I needed to explain the mission.  
> I know this is a crazy story but just go with it. I think most of us don't read fanfiction or watch shows for the accuracy of information. lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments.  
> I wasn't expecting this fic would get so much attention. You're all the best.

Ten days had passed since Murdoc’s dastardly deeds and even if Mac’s scratches and bruises had almost healed, the wall Riley had put up between them was hurting him worse than Murdoc’s kicks and punches ever did.

It was Monday morning when Mac got a text from Matty telling him to get his ass at the Phoenix. When he walked into the war room, he found Riley waiting.

You didn’t need to be an expert to understand that things were awkward between them. He greeted her with a simple “Hey” and Matty popped up in the war room screen before Riley had a chance to greet him back or say anything for that matter. Riley let out a sigh of relief and thought she should thank Matty for having such perfect timing.

“Good. You’re here. We can start.”

“What’s up Matty? Where’s the others?” Mac asked.

‘Did he also ask about Desi’s whereabouts?’ Riley thought and she couldn’t help but wonder why Mac wouldn’t know where his girlfriend/possible fiancé soon to be wife was, but she quickly switched back to her work mode because she had made a deal with herself to stop thinking about Mac and his relationship with Desi. As far as she was concerned, Mac would propose to Desi, if he hadn’t already and they would soon get married.

“We won’t be needing them for this,” Matty announced and you could clearly see the different reactions in Mac and Riley’s faces. Mac’s face lit up. He was more than excited that he would finally get some alone time with Riley even if it was because of the mission. Riley on the other hand, seemed like she was looking for the fire escape because being alone with Mac was the last thing she wanted. She still wasn’t ready to face him. And if she was being honest with herself she didn’t know if she would ever be.

“Besides, I’ve already filled in Bozer and Taylor so they if you need anything while you’re out there they’ll be here to give you an assist. Russ needs Desi for another op but he’ll be here if you need him. I’m in DC closing up the Codex case but we’ll be in touch the whole time,” Matty informed them.

“Great,” Mac exclaimed and turned his gaze to the left to check on Riley’s reaction. “Where are we going?” he asked and he couldn’t get over the fact that Riley didn’t seem even half-excited as he was that they were finally going on a solo mission after so long. She kept her eyes on Matty and refused to look at him.

“Don’t get too excited Mac. This isn’t a field trip,” the boss lady was right and even if Mac stopped grinning so Matty wouldn’t scold him, he kept smiling like an idiot on the inside.

“I’m sending you to Bulgaria. The people have been protesting there for months. They demand the resignation of the government and early parliamentary elections. Word on the street is that while the country is in distress, terrorist organizations are taking advantage of the mess. The country had thousands of deaths from covid but lately we discovered that some of those deaths could have been originated from something different. The crisis was so big that they didn't have time to diagnose the actual cause of death. Everyone who died and had symptoms that resembled the virus, was considered a Covid-19 victim,” Matty explained.

“You’re saying that there are people who died from something that looked like Covid-19 but were never properly diagnosed to determine the actual cause of death? How could this happen?” Riley wondered.

“As I mentioned the country was in a mess. It still is. The health care system was flooded with patients and they didn’t have enough resources to run covid tests for everyone, so the ones with serious symptoms that eventually died were never given a test. They were immediately presumed to be covid-19 patients.”

“That is wrong in so many levels.”

“I know Mac and it gets worse. When Dr Lazarov’s mother died she decided to defy the rules and run a covid test. She discovered that even though her symptoms were similar to the ones the virus caused, she didn’t have the virus. She couldn’t figure out what killed her mother so she did the same with other patients and found at least a dozen more that died but didn’t test positive for covid. She reached out to some friends in DARPA and asked for help. DARPA reached out to us so now I’m sending you two there to go and figure it out. DARPA thinks it’s some kind of microscopic technology.”

“That makes senses. Nanoparticles could cause damage to the lungs and create problems to the human respiratory system. Cause fever, cough, fatigue, headaches….”

“All of which are also symptoms of the coronavirus,” Riley completed his sentence and Mac was glad he finally got some kind of reaction out of her, even if it was just because of the mission.

“We think that whoever is behind this new nanotechnology will use it to create a new wave that will pass as a coronavirus virus mutation, immune to the vaccines and until people realise it’s not an actual virus but a deadly microscopic technology it will be too late to contain it.”

“So, we have no idea what or who we’re looking for? Not to mention that if we get close to this nanotech, we could inadvertently inhale it,” Mac realized.

“That is correct Mac. You have to be very careful. People are still protesting there so there will be chaos. You’ll meet up with the doctor I mentioned earlier. Due to the protests the vaccination has been delayed in Bulgaria, so they still have new cases and deaths every day and doctor Lazarov has been paying attention since she found out about this. There’s movement in the hospital she’s working in. She found out that some people claiming to be part of some non-governmental organization have volunteered to help with the burial of the victims but they take the bodies to some warehouse before they actually bury them. You’ll start there. We think they are taking the bodies to test who of those died from covid and who from their technology. Your job is to find this new nanotechnology. When you get your hands on it you’ll immediately leave. After that a Phoenix team will take over to catch the ones responsible behind this,” Matty concluded.

“Okay, so we go in and we go out. That doesn’t sound so hard,” Mac said.

“Let’s hope it’s _that_ easy. Wheels up in 10, so get ready,” Matty told them and ended the call.

“Hey Riley. Can we talk?” Mac immediately asked.

“Matty said we leave in 10 minutes. I have to go and get my gear ready. See you on the jet,” she replied and before he could object, she disappeared from his sight.

Mac hated this but at least he knew they would be stuck on the jet for about 15 hours so she would have to talk to him at some point. Or so he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading chapter 2.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This plane ride isn't going as Mac hoped it would.  
> Will he manage to make Riley talk to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter.  
> Thank you so much for all your comments. I love reading them.
> 
> Here's the deal, I wasn't planning to write too many chapters and I still don't know how many I will eventually write, but I really want to go through every scene like it's an actual scene on the show. Think of this as script from an actual episode. Besides, we have to wait until March 26th and I'm positive that this fic we'll be finished by then.

ON THEIR WAY TO BULGARIA

Mac and Riley were sitting across from each other on the table of the Phoenix jet. Riley had her laptop on the table and was checking some information on the mission that Matty had sent them while Mac was staring at her intently. Riley kept looking on her laptop screen but she could feel his eyes on her and that was making it really hard to concentrate. She had no idea how she was gonna survive this plane ride, this mission in general.

Mac stood up and went to stand behind Riley so he could watch the details of the mission on her laptop. At least that was what he was telling himself. Riley’s body tensed the moment she realized what Mac was doing. He leaned in over her left shoulder and now his face was only a few inches apart from hers. This was pretty common for them. Mac would always “infiltrate” Riley’s personal space but this time, it was different. She couldn’t have him that close to her. Not now that he knew about her feelings.

Riley quickly stood up forcing Mac to step back. “I’m gonna go grab some coffee. You want some?” she asked him.

“Uh-I…No, thanks. I’m all good,” he replied looking slightly annoyed by her reaction.

“You can check the details on my laptop until I get back,” she told him and now he was definitely annoyed. She practically said, ‘You better not be standing there when I return.’

He didn’t know how much longer he could take this. Riley asked him for some space but this wasn’t how he imagined it at all. He couldn’t talk to her like he used too and apparently, he couldn’t even stand next to her without making her feel uncomfortable. He needed to fix that and he had no idea how. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that he kind of liked how Riley was reacting to him looking at her and invading her personal space though. It meant that she indeed still had feelings for him and he knew that even though she must have felt this way in the past now that Mac was aware of those feelings she probably felt embarrassed.

Mac didn’t want to push her so he just sat back to his seat and turned the laptop over to take a look at the information.

‘Riley is sure taking her time with that coffee,’ he thought.

A couple of minutes later she was back and Mac decided it was time to start this imminent conversation.

“Everything okay? You were back there for a while.”

“Yeah, yeah. I was talking to Bozer. He called to say that something came up and Matty won’t be with us on this op after all, so Bozer is now in charge,” Riley informed him. She could see in his eyes that he knew they talked about more than just Matty.

_Earlier on the jet’s minibar_

_Riley was preparing her coffee when her phone rang. “Hey Boze! What’s up?”_

_“Matty called. She said she won’t be in charge of this op. She had to take care of some stuff, so you’re stuck with me,” Bozer let her know._

_“That’s okay. You are the next best thing so I’m sure we’ll be fine.”_

_“You don’t sound so good. Did something happen with Mac?” Bozer asked. He knew they weren’t really talking these last few days and he didn’t like it at all._

_“What more could happen? We already have enough going on,” Riley whispered to make sure Mac wouldn’t hear her._

_“Did he talk to you?”_

_“I’m trying to avoid any kind of conversation unless it’s mission related.”_

_“Riley, you have to talk to him. You never know what’s gonna happen,” he advised her._

_“What do you mean? Do you know something I don’t?” she wondered._

_“All I’m saying is that you can’t keep avoiding him forever. I hate seeing you two like this. You both look miserable.”_

_“Maybe after the mission is over. Right know I need to focus.”_

_“Do what you feel is best but make sure you talk to him. Trust me on this one, okay?”_

_“Okay, Boze! We’ll talk soon,” she said and hung up the phone._

Mac took a second to reply. He was thinking what else she and Bozer could have talked about.

“Oh, okay. Good. Bozer is the next best thing.”

“That’s what I said too,” Riley laughed and all Mac could think was how much he had missed that.

“I still can’t believe he knew this whole time,” it slipped out of Mac’s mouth and Riley’s smile immediately disappeared.

”Mac…don’t do this. It’s not like I told him,” Riley replied to his comment after sitting down.

“I know but the fact that he figured it out on his own makes me feel even worse,” and it was the truth. Bozer had figured it out while Mac was completely oblivious and missed all the signs.

“Wait. You talked about this?” Riley looked a bit angry.

“No,” he answered and she raised an eyebrow looking at him in the eyes for the first time. “Well yes, but not really,” Mac tried to answer her question more truthfully this time.

Riley frowned as she tried to make sense of what Mac had said.

“What I meant to say is that _yes_ , we did talk about it, I mean how could we not? But he didn’t really say anything. He only told me that he found out on his own around that time we had caught the Merchant,” he finally explained.

“Right,” Riley acted like she bought all that, but she was certain that that wasn’t the only thing Mac and Bozer had talked about. If she was sharing her secrets with Bozer, then Mac was most certainly doing the same. She wondered how could Bozer handle all of this and she was grateful they had a friend like him in their lives.

“So can we talk now?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I think we shouldn’t complicate things while we’re on the mission. Besides, I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I’ll try to do just that until we arrive,” she had become an expert at finding excuses by now. Plus, she didn’t exactly lie. Her neighbor was still listening to Macklemore every time she wanted to sleep. Riley sweared he was doing it on purpose.

“You _just_ had a coffee,” he practically complained. He knew how hard she was trying to avoid him.

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t drink it yet. Wake me up if something comes up,” she started walking towards one of the armchairs when she suddenly turned around, “And by something, I mean only if it has to do with the mission,” she made sure to point out.

Mac sighed in disappointment and just nodded. He watched Riley walk away and all he could think about was that no matter what, he would find a way to get her to talk to him before they were back in LA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I love angst way too much.  
> I don't want to make this easy for Mac. Riley waited over a year. He deserves to suffer for a few days.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is focused on the mission but I made sure to give you some MacRiley crumbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys! I can't thank you enough for all your support.  
> You are all the sweetest. Thank you!

SOFIA, BULGARIA

MAC REALLY WISHED THEY WERE HERE ON VACATION

As expected, Riley slept, or more like pretended to sleep through the rest of the flight. She did catch a few hours of sleep but most of the time she was awake and she just didn’t want Mac to know. In spite of her efforts to hide it Mac had realized that she wasn’t asleep the whole time but he didn’t say anything because he knew she would refuse to talk. So, he tried to get some sleep too and about an hour before they arrived, Bozer called to tell them where they would meet with Dr. Lazarov.

They got off the jet and took the car that Matty had prepared for them. It’s no surprise that the only words they exchanged were to talk about what they would ask the doctor or how they would proceed after she would lead them to the warehouse. They were giving each other awkward looks and it seemed like they had managed to increase the tension even more than before.

About a few minutes later, they realized that they couldn’t reach their destination by car ‘cause the protesters were blocking the streets. They parked the car and Riley used satellite view to find the best route for Lazarov’s location. The town seemed like a war zone. Anti-government protesters were fighting with police forces. The air was filled with smoke from the fires the protesters had caused and the tear gas the police were using against them.

Mac and Riley used the masks Matty had made sure they’d find in the car and they also covered their faces with a yellow cloth. Their eyes had already gotten watery from the tear gas in the atmosphere. They started moving fast in order to get out of the chaos. Mac was leading the way and made sure he kept Riley right behind him so he could protect her if anyone tried to attack them.

They were lucky ‘cause in this mess no one really seemed to notice them, so they managed to pass through unharmed. They reached the hospital and they found Dr. Lazarov waiting for them.

“Hi Dr. Lazarov. I’m MacGyver. This is Riley. We’re with the Phoenix foundation,” Mac told her while shaking her hand.

“Please call me Elena. Thank you so much for coming,” she said. She had that distinctive accent most people that speak Slavic languages have.

“We _were_ hoping for a warmer welcome,” Riley joked.

“Yeah, we’re not in a good place these days but if we were, you probably wouldn’t need to be here in the first place.”

“I hope we can help,” Riley told her and she could see how exhausted she was. The mask was covering most of her face but the bags under her eyes couldn’t lie.

“Me too,” Elena nodded. “I’m sure you already know the details so there is no need for me to tell you the story. I think it’s best if I lead you to the warehouse right away. I followed our suspects there a couple of weeks ago.”

“I think you shouldn’t come with us. When we get there, we will have to enter to examine the place and extract the nanotechnology. We _can’t_ put you in that kind of danger,” Mac informed her.

“But I want to help.”

“And you already have. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be here now. I’m with Mac on this one. You’re a civilian. We can’t let you come. Besides, I’m sure you’re more needed here,” Riley told her.

“I understand,” Elena agreed. “Okay, then. Let me show you where you need to go,” Riley showed her a map and the woman looked for the place they needed to go. “It’s about a mile outside the Iskar-Panega Geopark. The protests stop right here,” she pointed the place she was referring to on the map, “So, you can continue with a car from there. It’s about an hour’s drive.”

They thanked Elena and informed Bozer so he could have a car ready for them when they would reach the place where there wouldn’t be protesters blocking the streets. Unfortunately for them, Bozer couldn’t have a car ready in time, so Mac had to do his thing and steal one. He made sure he found one with enough gas and they drove to the warehouse.

* * *

Mac was the one driving since Riley needed to work on her laptop. On their way there, she made sure she kept herself busy. She managed to find the blueprints for the warehouse and she also checked for heat signatures. There were about 10 people in and outside the warehouse.

They ditched the car about 100 meters away from the building and they continued cautiously on foot. They hid behind the trees to observe the place and find a way to get in.

“There are four guards outside and from what I can see, there are heat signatures for six people inside the warehouse,” Riley informed Mac. Everyone was wearing hazmat suits but that didn’t seem to trouble Mac or Riley since they knew that they were all coming in contact with covid patients.

He approached Riley so he could watch her screen, “Can you bring up the blueprints?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” she said.

“Okay, it looks like the only blind spot is the northeast corner. There is only one guard there and he has already walked to the front twice to chit-chat with the others,” Mac observed.

“Yeah, he looks like a man who takes his job seriously,” Riley joked and Mac snorted with laughter. Riley turned to look at him with a smile on her face and her eyes were glowing. It reminded Mac the way she had looked at him on their first solo mission, when she found out that he knew the coordinates to Area 51 by heart. The more he was revisiting his memories, the more he realized that there was always something special between them, whether it was the way they were looking at each other or the fact that they were in sync all the time.

“Uh, yeah. Matty would sure hire him in a heartbeat,” he said when he brought himself back from his trip down memory lane.

* * *

The plan was simple. They go in and they go out, like Mac had said. They checked the blueprints to see if they could determine where the room they were guarding the nanotech would be. There was a room in the middle of the warehouse that looked like the most possible place to keep the technology. Riley could see that there was movement in that room. Four of the people that were inside the warehouse were coming in and out of that place a lot of times like they were moving things from one place to another, while the other two were in the garage.

They waited for the guard to leave his post again and they run to the door he was guarding. Mac opened it and they carefully walked inside.

“Okay, we need a distraction,” he whispered. “Something that will make them exit that room long enough for us to go in and get what we need.”

He took some time to look around and when he made that face Riley would describe as his ‘I have an idea’ face she said, “Let me guess. Tinfoil.”

Mac’s eyes widened. ‘She knows me so well,’ he thought.

“Cliché. I know,” he said because he had used that trick in the past.

“Hmm. I don’t know. There is just something about you using old tricks…” Riley began and immediately regretted she said that.

Mac was looking at her in shock. ‘Did she just flirted with me?’ he wondered.

“What I mean is, that whenever you do a hack you’ve used before I remember all the other times you did it,” she tried to justify her previous words. “And the tinfoil hack takes me back to our first mission so don’t blame me for liking it a little too much.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Mac simply said because he was at a loss for words. He hadn’t thought of it like that but he was doing the same thing without realizing it. His hacks weren’t triggering memories, at least not all of them but other things did. Things like Riley’s looks, smiles, her facial expressions in general. Like her eyebrows. Mac thought that her eyebrows had a mood of their own. He loved watching her making faces.

* * *

Mac gathered what he needed to create smoke so he could trigger the fire alarm. They had to work fast. Once the alarm went off and the sprinklers opened, Riley checked her laptop to see if the people that were in the room would leave. And they did. They all headed outside the warehouse. Mac and Riley got inside the room and checked around to find the nanotech. They found a metal briefcase which contained a tablet and the device they were looking for and took it. Riley plugged her computer to their server to copy their data and after that, they exited the warehouse from the exact door they had entered.

They couldn’t go back to where they had left the car because the bad guys were on high alert and had blocked the road, so they decided to go into the woods and inform Bozer to send them the exfil location.

They were now wet from head to toe due to the sprinklers and it was freezing cold outside. Unfortunately, that was the least of their problems. The way to exfil was long and that walk in the woods was bound to change their lives forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one even if it didn't have a lot of MacRiley content.  
> I'm really excited for that walk in the woods.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part one from what happened in the woods.  
> I hope you will enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never get tired of thanking you for all the kudos and comments.  
> You've shown this story so much support. I'm grateful.  
> This chapter is a bit longer but I had a lot of things to write.

INTO THE WOODS

AND NO, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MUSICAL

They were walking for about 20 minutes. The sun was still up but it was getting dark soon and exfil was 15 miles away, so they had an about 5-hour’s walk and that’s if they didn’t stop. But not stopping seemed impossible. It was 41˚F (5˚C) outside and it wasn’t even dark yet. 

Mac knew that if they wanted to survive the night they had to stop and start a fire to warm up. If they were lucky, they could manage to dry themselves with the help of the fire. They had moved fast but they did get wet from the sprinklers in the warehouse and dying from hypothermia was just not an option.

“Riley, we need to stop. We have to camp, start a fire. Freezing to death is not on my bucket list,” Mac told her from behind. She was walking a couple of meters in front of him.

“We both know you don’t have a bucket list Mac. And even if you did, I’d say that with the way our lives are, all it would include would be the most possible ways to die, so freezing to death would definitely be on it,” she joked even though she knew he was right.

“I’m serious Riles,” he picked up the pace so he would get in front of her. “Look at you. You’re shaking and your lips are turning blue. If we don’t dry up before it gets dark, we’re gonna have some serious problems.”

“Maybe, but we don’t know for sure that those guys aren’t on to us. They could have sent someone to look for us.”

“You said it yourself. Everyone is still at the warehouse,” Riley was constantly checking the heat signatures from her laptop. “We have the advantage here. Until they figure out what happened, we have some time. And even if they do, they don’t know which way we went. It won’t be that easy for them to find us,” he concluded and Riley finally stopped walking so Mac did the same.

“I guess you’re right. And I am freezing,” she admitted and Mac let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay! Let’s camp here by the river. This way we can have access to fresh water. And let’s build a fire, shall we?”

They looped Bozer in and started looking for logs and stones. When they gathered enough, Mac placed the logs creating a five-point star and ringed them with the stones. He chose to make a star fire ‘cause he wanted to build a fire that will slowly burn for hours in order to keep them warm.

“Do you think fireweed grows out here?” Riley asked, earning a surprised look from Mac.

“You remember,” he said.

“Dah! That camping trip is pretty memorable,” she beamed. “Only _we_ can manage to get in trouble every time we leave the house,” they both laughed. “Oh wait! I’m mistaken. Judging by our little quarantine misadventure we can get in trouble while staying at home too,” she realized.

“We’re a huge pain in the ass, aren’t we?” Mac joked. He couldn’t help but go back and remember how good it was when he was stuck with Riley and Bozer in quarantine. Even if the world was suffering from a global pandemic, he was feeling content because he was with his two best friends and nothing seemed impossible. Except maybe singing on key.

He had also realised by now that he had indeed shared a moment with Riley on his kitchen floor and quarantine cabin fever had nothing to do with it. He just hoped he hadn’t been so blind.

“Matty seems to think so, but she loves us anyway,” Riley replied.

“Oh, and to answer your question…Yes. Fireweed does indeed grow out here, so we should look around. Now, if you can remember the scientific name too, I’ll be seriously impressed,” he challenged her.

“Hmm, let’s see,” she said and she carried more logs to where Mac was building the fire. “I remember the second word because it starts with your first name but the first one…Cham-uh, _chamaenerion angustifolium_?” she hesitated.

“Oh, wow! I can’t believe you actually remember that,” he told her and stood up to look at her.

“What can I say? I have the memory of an elephant,” she laughed and all he could do was admire her.

* * *

They looked around for the fireweed and it seems like luck was on their side because they found it. Mac used it to get the fire started so they sat on some big tree logs they had placed around it.

“This feels so much better,” Riley rubbed her hands together and blew on them to create warmth.

“It does, but it’s still cold,” Mac said and then he remembered, “Don’t you have a first aid kit in your backpack?”

“I think so. Bozer always makes sure I have it with me. But why do you need it? You’re not hurt, are you?” Riley started to worry.

“No, no. I’m fine but there must be a space blanket in there,” he explained and even though Riley liked the idea of being wrapped up in a blanket right now, she wasn’t sure she could handle what Mac had in mind.

“Oh, right. Let me check,” she opened her backpack, found the kit and it did indeed have a space blanket. It wouldn’t really be a first aid kit if it didn’t now, would it?

“Here you go Mac,” he handed the blanket over to him.

Mac opened the blanket and draped it over his shoulders. Riley was sitting on a tree log to his left, so he stretched out his left hand and waited for her to come and sit next to him.

“Oh, no. I’m all good Mac. You can have the blanket,” and yeah that was a big fat lie. Good was one thing she was not and Mac wasn’t gonna give up that easily.

“Riles, we’re gonna be here for hours and you admitted that you’re freezing yourself. This is not an option. We need to share this blanket if we want to get out of here alive.”

‘Then someone kill me now please,’ Riley thought. She had been avoiding him for days and now she had to wrap herself in the same blanket with him.

“And grab that first aid kit. There might be some other things we can use,” Mac’s look was persistent. There is no way he was letting her freeze.

Riley took a deep breath, grabbed the kit and stood up. She walked those two steps that were separating her from Mac and before she could sit, Mac decided to reposition himself. He sat on the ground in front of the tree log, so when Riley would sit down with him, they would be closer to the fire and they would support their backs on the log. 

Mac’s repositioning earned a raised eyebrow from Riley, “What? This way it will be more comfortable for the both of us,” he told her.

She rolled her eyes and just went with it because she was shaking from the cold. She finally sat down next to him and took one side of the blanket to cover herself. “Your hands are cold,” Mac realized when she took her side of the blanket from him.

“That’s an understatement. Yours are too. Need I remind you what we’ve been trying to do for the last hour,” she sneered. They did stop to build a fire so they could warm up and they were still wet, so having cold hands was inevitable. She kept looking at the fire trying to focus on anything else but the fact that her right side was one with Mac’s left side.

“Yeah, but if we can warm our hands up, we’ll feel a lot better. You know the reason our hands and feet get cold in the winter is because our body prioritizes keeping our vital organs like our heart and lungs warm,” she couldn’t believe he was macsplaining right now, but she loved it.

“I think I have an idea,” he said and leaned to the left to catch the first aid kit that Riley had left next to her. Mac’s face was now a couple of inches away from Riley’s and his hand was reaching over her legs to grab the kit. Riley knew this was a bad idea. She stood completely still the whole time and held her breath until Mac returned to his previous position.

“I could have given you that,” she pointed out.

“Um…Yeah, right. You could have,” he agreed but he didn’t really think to ask. If Mac hadn’t found out about Riley’s feelings, then this would be something normal for them. Since they made it to the warehouse, they had started acting almost like Murdoc’s revelations never affected them, so Mac forgot about everything for a minute and didn’t think twice before stretching his hand over Riley to catch the kit.

“Here! We can use the roller gauze to cover our hands. It will help.”

“That’s-that’s actually not a bad idea,” she smiled.

“See? I told you there were other things we could use in this kit,” he stretched out his hand waiting for Riley to give him hers so he could start wrapping it with the gauze.

Riley frowned in confusion but finally realized what Mac was waiting for. She gave him her hand and he wrapped some of the gauze around it. He used the scissors from his swiss army knife to cut it and tied it up. He followed the same procedure with the other hand and then Riley helped Mac to cover his hands too.

“You were right. This feels a lot better,” she smiled and yawned at the same time while stretching herself.

“Whoa! Someone’s sleepy.”

“Yeah, well, we had a big day,” she told him.

“Hmm. If I remember correctly you slept for more than ten hours during the plane ride. I mean, I can’t remember the last time I slept for more than five hours, so with ten hours of sleep you should have enough energy to keep going for days,” he joked. He knew she had slept a lot less than that.

She looked at him with an apologetic look. She knew he had figured out she wasn’t sleeping for most of the time and that he respected her decision to not talk about what _he_ wanted to talk about. 

“Mac…,” she began.

“It’s okay. I know it’s not easy. We’ll get a lot of other opportunities to talk. When you’re ready, I’ll be here,” he cut her off.

Riley sighed and thanked him, “Thanks Mac.”

“Okay. Let’s try and get some sleep and maybe when we wake up, we could try and find something to eat,” Mac suggested.

“As long as it’s not cattails.”

“Sorry Riles. Our options are limited. And I hate to break it to you, but cattails grow here too. A different species but I’m pretty sure they taste the same.”

“Argh! It’s a good thing we won’t be here long enough for me to famish.”

“Let’s hope so,” Mac laughed.

Darkness had fallen and the air temperature was 32˚F (0˚C). Riley rested her head on Mac’s shoulder and he rested his on her head. They fell asleep fast. They were both really tired. From the moment they got off the plane they had been running around through the protests and later the woods. And there’s no need to remind you that they hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in the first place.

* * *

NEXT MORNING

YEAH, THEY OVERSLEPT. BOZER MUST BE GOING CRAZY.

Riley woke up first. She felt way too comfortable which she found weird because if she remembered correctly, she was supposed to be sitting on the ground. When she opened her eyes, she realized she was laying her head on Mac’s chest and his hand was wrapped around her. She panicked and in her attempt to remove herself without waking him up, she did just that.

“Morning,” Mac said like this was nothing that hadn’t happened before.

Riley immediately stood up, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay. We were asleep.”

“No, it’s not okay. We overslept. The sun is rising. We have to call Bozer and we have to keep going. This was a bad idea. We shouldn’t… _I_ shouldn’t,” she was rambling.

Mac stood up and approached her. He grabbed her hands to make her look at him.

“Riles, relax. It’s okay.”

She immediately removed her hands from Mac’s and exclaimed, “Don’t Riles me right now Mac.”

She felt guilty. Even if nothing had happened, she couldn’t stop thinking about what would Desi say if she had seen them like that. Riley felt like she had betrayed her trust. They talked the day after that mission in Mexico and Desi was really cool with everything that had happened. She told her that she wasn’t mad and that she understood. So now, when Riley woke up in Mac’s arms, she hated herself for letting her guard down and allowed that to happen.

She picked up her backpack and started walking away.

“Riley, wait. What…..Just wait,” Mac gathered the space blanket and the metal briefcase, poured water over the fire and run after her.

“Riley wait up. It’s okay,” he shouted from behind.

“No, it’s not Mac. Nothing is okay.”

“Will you stop? I promise it’s fine,” he kept reassuring her but she kept moving. She was practically running.

“You don’t get it. It’s….Oh my God. Desi,” she murmured her name but Mac heard it. Now he knew why she panicked like that.

“Riley stop,” he kept shouting but she wouldn’t listen. And then he uttered one of the two things that could probably make Riley stop moving right now.

“I broke _up_ with Desi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think?  
> To be honest, I don't think Mac and Desi will be broken up in 5x11 but I wanted to give this story a little twist.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback of the breakup scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your amazing comments.  
> I'm not very satisfied with this chapter but I really hope you like it.

_4 DAYS AGO_

_THE MUCH-ANTICIPATED BREAKUP IS FINALLY HERE_

_It had been a week since the infamous mission in Mexico city and even if Desi told Mac to forget about it, she knew in her heart that nothing would ever be the same. They hadn’t talked all week. At least not about the important things. Desi thought it was time to address the elephant in the room, so after that day’s mission when Mac asked her to talk, she immediately agreed._

_“You wanna go to the lab? There’s no one there at this hour,” Mac suggested._

_“Yeah, sure,” Desi answered and that’s what they did._

_They entered the lab and walked towards the table. Desi rested her hands on the table while Mac was moving back and forth, trying to think of how to start this conversation._

_“Look, Desi,” he stopped to face her._

_“I-I think we should break up.”_

_“I think you should break up,” Desi repeated almost simultaneously._

_“Wait. What? You do?” Mac was confused._

_“Yeah. I know I said we should pretend like that day in Mexico never happened, but I was wrong. You can’t forget and I can’t either.”_

_“Yeah, I think that day put things into perspective. I realized that I wanted to propose for all the wrong reasons. I thought that since things were going well between us, that kind of commitment was just what we needed,” Mac told her._

_“About that. Well, if I’m being honest your plans to propose are the main reason for my decision today. If you had asked, I would have said no. I’m not ready for something like that Mac. And we both know you’re not ready either.”_

_“Yeah, I realize that now. I’ve lost so many people in my life and I didn’t want you to become part of that list. I thought that if we got married, I would always have someone at my side but that is wrong. I was being selfish. People keep telling me I’m not alone but I still feel like I need a way to prove it. I’ve been looking at all of this wrong. This isn’t a science experiment. I don’t have to prove anything.”_

_“I’m glad you feel like that Mac. It’s true, you’re not alone. Even after we break up, I’ll keep being in your life. We can finally try and be friends. We did all of this wrong. We should have taken some time to know each other before we jump into this relationship. And then, when we broke up, we should have stayed like that. We both made mistakes but I think that this is the only way to make up for them,” Desi admitted._

_“So, friends?” Mac asked and opened his arms._

_“Yeah, friends,” Desi smiled and hugged him._

_When they broke the hug Mac asked, “Des? Is it okay if we don’t say anything about this yet? I want to be the one to tell Bozer and…” he hesitated._

_“Riley,” Desi completed his words. “I get it. Don’t worry. They won’t hear it from me.”_

_“Thanks and you should know that I didn’t ask you to break up because of Riley. But I won’t lie. Learning about her feelings made me reevaluate everything. It helped me realize some things. I was so hung up on fixing our relationship that I lost sight of what was happening around me. I was so blind, I didn’t even stop to look how I really felt,” he admitted._

_“It’s okay Mac. I know this isn’t happening because of Riley. I think all this time we were just delaying the inevitable. But now we can finally move on.”_

_“I really hope so,” Mac was happy they cleared things up with Desi but things with Riley weren’t looking good. He had to find a way to get her to talk to him._

_“Talk to her Mac. She’s afraid that she might lose you now that everything is out in the open. Let her know how you really feel about all of this,” Desi advised him when she saw that he was lost in his thoughts._

_“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said before Mac could say anything and walked away._

_Mac was surprised by her words but relieved at the same time. Desi seemed to know why he was troubled and she looked like she was okay with the fact that Mac had feelings for Riley. Because he did. He had realized it the same day he found out about Riley’s feelings for him. He was just hoping that it wasn’t too late and that however Riley felt, they would manage to save their friendship. That was what mattered to him the most. He couldn’t afford to lose Riley so if her feelings had gone away, he was willing to live with that._

* * *

_When Mac was about to leave Bozer entered the lab._

_“Boze? What are you doing here this late?” he asked him._

_“I…Well, I saw you and Desi coming here so I waited until she left to come and check on you,” Bozer admitted._

_“We broke up,” Mac said._

_“You did?” Bozer pretended to look surprised._

_“You knew this was coming, didn’t you?”_

_“Well, I’ve been telling you from the start. Mac and Desi equals messy,” he joked. “But seriously now. Are you okay?”_

_“Is it bad that I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders?” Mac asked him._

_“No, Mac. If anything, this means you did the right thing. How did Desi take it?”_

_“Well, she wanted to break up too.”_

_“That’s good. I’m glad you’re both on the same page.”_

_After a few seconds of silence Mac spoke up, “Don’t say anything. You know…to Riley. I want to tell her myself.”_

_“Don’t worry. I won’t. This is something you need to do on your own.”_

_Mac nodded and after a while he said, “Hey Boze?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“How long have you known?” Mac asked referring to Riley’s feelings._

_“Long enough. But you know I couldn’t say anything, right?”_

_“Yeah, yeah. I do. Riley said she started to have feelings in Germany.”_

_“Well, I found out around that time we caught the Merchant.”_

_“How could I miss this?” Mac run a hand through his hair._

_“Don’t torture yourself like that Mac. Riley knew how to hide it. It was her decision not to say anything so you couldn’t know,” his best friend reassured him._

_“Yeah, but you figured it out.”_

_“By accident,” Bozer exclaimed. “And she would never do or say anything that could make **you** suspect about her feelings.”_

_“I’m glad you were there for her,” he told him. “Do you remember when I told you about that moment in quarantine?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“It was **not** nothing after all.”_

_“You think?”_

_“You **knew**? Why didn’t you say anything?” _

_“Because you had to figure it out for yourself. I’m just glad that you finally did.”_

_“I am too. Now I just have to find a way to tell Riley.”_

_“Make sure you know what you want before you do anything, okay?”_

_“I’ve been thinking about this, since that day in Mexico. I know how I feel but I also know that I need more time to figure things out. I just want to talk to Riley so she can stop avoiding me.”_

_“I get it. I don’t like that the two of you aren’t talking but you have to wait until she’s ready.” Bozer reminded him._

_“Thanks man. You always know what to say. And I’m really sorry about Leanna. I know how much you loved her.”_

_“Yeah. I hadn’t seen her for more than two years but it still hurts like hell. I can’t stop thinking about her, Mac. Every time I close my eyes she’s there.” Bozer was trying to hold his tears from falling._

_Mac hugged him tightly, “I’m so sorry man. I’ve been talking to you about my problems while you have your own. Just know that I’m always here for you.”_

_“I know. Thanks Mac,” Bozer said and broke the hug. “If all this with Leanna taught me anything, is that tomorrow is not promised, so you have to clear things up with Riley before it’s too late.”_

_“I’ll try Boze. I promise.”_

* * *

BACK TO PRESENT TIME

Riley stood still the minute she heard Mac say that he broke up with Desi. Mac run towards her and got in front of her so he could look at her in the eyes.

“Well, more like we broke up with each other,” he admitted.

“What? When?” Riley was still in shock because of Mac’s revelation.

“About 4 days ago. So, can we talk now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you find the break up scene?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go. Time for them to talk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for the love you've shown to me and my story.

LOCATION: THE WOODS

MAC: READY TO TALK

RILEY: ABOUT TO EXPLODE

“Talk?” she yelled. “Seriously Mac? Why on earth would you break up with Desi? If I remember correctly, ten days ago you made a freaking diamond to propose to her,” she was angry and she thought this was all her fault.

Mac had draped the space blanket over his shoulders while he was running after Riley and he held the briefcase in his hand, “I know how this looks, but…”

“Do you? Do you, really?” she cut him off. “Because to me, it looks like you keep putting other people’s happiness before your own.”

“Oh, you mean like you’ve been doing?” Mac snapped and put the briefcase down on the ground.

“What?”

“How long have you been suffering, huh? Hiding how you feel so you won’t make things weird between us?” he asked in a loud voice.

“I don’t need your pity Mac. That was a choice I made. I told you, I’m _fine_. And maybe I was hurting but knowing you were happy, was enough. Now look at what you did.”

“And who told you that I didn’t do this for _my_ happiness?”

“Because this is what you do. You sacrifice yourself so others won’t have to. Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? I hate it.” she had watery eyes.

“Riles, listen to me. Desi and I didn’t break up because of you, okay? This isn’t your fault. It was a decision we both agreed on,” he tried to reassure her.

“How do you expect me to believe that, when everything was great between you two, before Murdoc played that recording?” she questioned.

“Do you remember what I told you when we talked outside that building in Mexico?” Mac asked.

Riley took a few seconds before she replied, “Yeah. You said that emotions aren’t a science, that we can’t control them,” her voice was softer this time.

“That was when I realized that I’ve been trying to do just that this whole time,” Riley looked at him confused. “I’ve been trying to control my emotions. I mean, I scienced the hell out of making a diamond just because I thought marriage was what Desi and I needed to keep our relationship going. But I was wrong Riles. And yeah, finding out about your feelings helped me look things from a different perspective but trust me when I tell you that _you_ aren’t the reason Desi and I broke up.” he explained hoping she would believe him.

Riley was silent. She was trying to process what Mac had just told her.

“And when I asked Desi to break up…Well, she asked me the same almost simultaneously, but that’s not the point….she said that if I _had_ proposed, she would have said no. Regardless of your feelings.”

“But you _wanted_ to propose Mac. You _wanted_ to spend the rest of your life with her,” Riley said because she couldn’t understand why he would do something like that if he didn’t actually want it.

“ _No_ , I didn’t. I _don’t_. I just thought I did. This is what I’m trying to explain,” he let out a heavy sigh. “You know better than anyone that I’ve lost too many people in my life and I was trying so hard to fix my relationship with Desi so I wouldn’t lose her too. I was clinging to something familiar. I’ve told you this before. In Germany, remember?”

“I remember Mac. You also said that you two weren’t right for each other, but you still got back together after that.” he reminded him.

“I know. And looking back now maybe it had something to do with the fact that you were with Aubrey,” it slipped his mouth.

“What? What does Aubrey have to do with anything?”

“I-I don’t know. When I found out about him, when you said that you two were living together for six months and you were happy…I don’t know…I wanted to have that with someone too. I hadn’t realized it then, but I wanted to have that with _you_ ,” he finally admitted.

“Mac, what? What are you saying?”

“That day I found out Bozer’s mom was sick. Do you remember?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“I broke that glass and we sat down on the kitchen floor.”

“ _Trust_ me, I remember Mac. I was _this_ close to admitting my feelings to you,” she gestured.

“I felt that. In that moment I felt that there was something going on between us. I even told Bozer about it, but I was too afraid to even think what that moment meant, because subconsciously I knew what it could do to us if you didn’t feel the same. So, I buried it. Maybe not knowingly, like you’ve been doing with your feelings, but I did.”

“Mac I think…I think you are confused. You just got out of a relationship. You’re not thinking straight,”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I know I have _real_ feelings for you. I know it. But if you don’t feel the same anymore then I understand. I just need you to tell me Riles. I need to know. I can’t lose you. No matter what your answer will be, I want to hear it so we can figure out what we’ll do next,” he moved closer to her and grabbed her hands.

“Mac, I…” she wasn’t feeling very good.

They still had the gauze wrapped around their hands but when Mac touched her he felt her warm, too warm. So, he quickly removed the gauze from his left hand and brought it to her right cheek and then her forehead. Riley’s cheeks were flushed.

“Riles, you’re burning up,” he realized.

Riley looked like she was fading away. Her feet couldn’t hold her anymore and she started falling. Mac still had the blanket around him and before she could fall, he wrapped his arms around her to catch her.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he kept repeating when Riley lost consciousness. “Wake up Riles,” he slowly laid her down on the ground. He was shaking her gently trying to wake her up.

“Please Riles. I need you to wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. It's another cliffhanger but I didn't have a lot of time to write more.  
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
